After my mother died, she gave me information on her condition after her death. These notes continue from my last post. Notes from the other side – Clouds
“So you will see, that at the moment, I am severely hampered by my vision and the fact that my mind is seething with new ideas and concepts and life reviews that are keeping me very busy. It is almost like being in hospital, people come to see me and then they disappear again – out of my range of vision.
Let me tell you about my range of vision. I said I can see 100 yds or so. This is only a guess. It would be more accurate to say I am aware of space. Within the space there is nothing much. I am not aware of what is under my feet, there is no grass, no nature, just a large empty space within which I am reliving my life. When my guide and I are in discussion I remember situations, I remember friends, I recall members of family and somehow incidents of my re living build up within the space that I am aware of. I seem real, the figures with whom I am re-living my life seem real and they seem to develop out of this hazy shimmering light. Concepts flow into my mind, “understanding” is probably better word and then I move onward to the next event and the old scene dissipates back into the space from which it came.”
I ask a question – Can you walk about?
“Well, yes I can. But it would be like walking about in a room that was entirely white and you were unaware of walls, ceiling or floor. The friends who visit me tell me that this will improve. They say that I will have to learn a type of ‘seeing’. They tell me I am unable to rid myself of my logical mind. The here and now is not logical so logical people have trouble with the ability to see. I would think this place is confining me so that I am to investigate my life. I seem unable to interact with whatever else there is beyond my space. My understanding is that this is what the church teaches as the place halfway between heaven and earth. My friends say this will not last for long. They say I am trapping myself, and I must say it is a different kind of adventure! I am not tired of it, I am not uncomfortable, and I am quite enjoying studying the history of myself. I have no feelings of tediousness – only of interesting and exciting revelations.
I am also experiencing a strange phenomenon in that it is difficult to recall the names, that is, names of people, names of places. When I am doing my life to re-view, I can’t say to you that the last review was in Kroonstad when I was fifteen in 1925. Names and dates are dropping away. I have difficulty remembering them – it’s the dance that I am re-experiencing.
It is the same with visitors. I know who they are. I can remember what we did, but they don’t look as they did when I knew them. We seem to communicate mentally. Sometimes they come after I have had a period of life-review – the same people with whom I have just been thinking of. Sometimes we discuss the dance we danced. They seem not to mind that I didn’t follow their steps when they invited me to. They do not seem disappointed in me. When they are with me after a re-view, I am not discomforted by their presence even though I might have previously felt discomfort at my ineptitude at dancing!”