I woke up knowing I had been with my mother who had died on 2nd January 2002 – over a month before her “communications” started with me.
How this works is that I am one of her visitors! We sit and chat and then I am writing what we talked about.
Last night we talked about visitors and liking people! And the fact that she sees people when we are sleeping. We, the living, “call in” as if she is in hospital at night while we sleep. Those who are interested in her, visit her. Today I wrote on her behalf…..
11th February 2002
I am resting here. They say that many of those who have died have long periods of rest in complete unconsciousness. But that is not happening to me. But I am curtailed by my own lack of skill. I am taking a rest from constant interaction with other stimuli by being in this place of restricted vision. I am completing my life review first – although many do it later – and a lot, who are unaware they have died see the similarly constructed scenes as I do in my reviews, but they see scenes of their own deaths to explain the fact they are where they are.
I am experiencing times of sadness and I am beginning to understand the term that I heard in the Church “I am a miserable sinner” and the nature of forgiveness of sin. The life reviews are a time of purification.
My new understanding of everyone being a miserable sinner is because the personality – the outer covering which makes us feel different, separate, have a consciousness of ourselves, ego, makes us so – “sinners” really. We can”t avoid it. Our personality is what is found wanting – the “sinner”. This is our inheritance from beginning times. This is the meaning of the Church’s teaching of original sin.
Thinking of the persona as the outer covering of the soul – an individual construction of the mind, makes it easier to like people. If we do not actively like, we do not love. So when we say we love everyone unconditionally and not experience liking them in spite of their outer personality, we are not actually experiencing love – only a sort of condescension. In the here and now, the inner attitude becomes clear for it is impossible to attract to yourself that which you do not like.
You can help me by forgiving me the idiosyncrasies of my personality. It would be nice if you remembered me with “liking”.
Liking is the key to manifesting in the here and now. You have to like it before it comes to you. If you like crime and violence, you will be in that “house” in the many mansions of the here and now. There are many, many different areas here, it seems.
I am sorting out what I like – and so should you – it makes the crossing easier because when your ideas of what you clearly like are defined, you create a place for yourself in which you will be surrounded by your taste and the things you really like. There is no way to pretend or feign it. I have to replace the word Love by Like. Liking is easier to comprehend than Love, which is much more difficult to experience – a sort of ideal and not easy to achieve.
I have been thinking about religion and the Church, and how it gave me direction when I was very young and a moral base when I was older. If you want a “way” go back to church for in the dogma and teachings are the grains/kernels of real understanding that can protect, lead and guide a person through the trials of living in original sin and the rituals are designed to lessen the impact of the effects of life on our souls – even if not understood at the time.
I would like Ian to conduct a “passing over” blessing for me because it will be dignified and assist everyone else too.
Here she asks for the minister of the Unitarian Church she had lately been attending, to do some kind of ceremony.
But the story of my mother’s death was to get so complex, in the end, she had loads of ceremonies for her soul….and I will tell you about that in good time.
And, I fear, I never went “back to Church”. As I record this as a post, I think to myself that perhaps I should!